Back-To-Hell Shopping

This weekend my mom took me back-to-school shopping.  School doesn't actually start for a few weeks, but she's a busy entrepreneur and this was the only chance we'd have to go to the mall before school starts.

The mall?  Puh-leeze!

As if I want any of the clothes from the mall.  Sheesh.

I told mom that the mall was a kind of a stupid idea, as really the only things I like there are the vintage tee-shirts from Delia's, but she doesn't really care what I like...she's just looking for convenience.  She's also hoping I will decide to wear what everyone else is wearing, so that I won't be a social outcast again this year.  What she doesn't understand is that I have been a social outcast for so long that I wouldn't know how to act if I WASN'T a social outcast.  If that makes any sense.

So we managed to spend three hours at the mall just to end up with one jacket, two tee-shirts and a pair of Chucks, which are my one concession to style.  Nothing quite fit my feet like Chucks.  Or Keds--the old-school white ones that look like they came straight out of one of those old 1950s movies.  But Keds are for summer, and Chucks are for year-round, so Chucks were the shoes of choice.

"But what about jeans?" my mom asked.  "There are some cute ones at Abercrombie."

Let me just tell you this...my mom is not blind.  Nor is she dumb.  She owns a really awesome business and has her Masters degree and is one of the savviest people I know, except when it comes to me, her only child.
I am not the kind of teenage girl who can wear "cute" and get away with it.
No one has ever thought of me as "cute."
First of all, I am built like a shoebox standing on end.  A rectangular prism.  No ins, no outs, nothing curvy--just a rectangle. And not a lightweight, empty shoebox, either.  A solid shoebox who cannot fit into Abercrombie jeans. 
Secondly, my face is round like a donut, the hole being my nose.  Make-up is pointless because I have nothing ot "highlight"--and my eyes are hidden behind my glasses. 
And third, I have really pathetic hair.  It's not a good color--just kind of blah brown, and it has stupid waves that make it impossible to control.  Sure, I could spend forty-five minutes straightening it, but it's a lot easier to just throw it back in a ponytail and let it do its thing. 

So I wasted three hours plus two for driving to the mall and back when I could have been doing something interesting like reading The Weed that Strings the Hangman's Bag  (I heart Flavia!) or watching the History Channel.  Back to school = Back to Hell.

A New School Year!

I just have one little announcement:  This is going to be the best school year ever!
*I will have the highest grade point average in the sophomore class.
*I will be elected President of the French Club.
*I will be asked out on a date.  By a boy.  Who is not ugly.
*I will finally be recognized as the most talented writer on the school newspaper.
That is all.